He is strong and able

The last few days have been very difficult. On Sunday, I woke up to more intense pain. Monday morning brought a continuation of that pain and another palpable lymph node. Talking at work was a real challenge, but I made it through the whole day. I didn't even try to go on Tuesday - the rest from talking was wonderful. On Wednesday, I woke to a small amount of blood in my mouth and the eventual realization that my first surgical wound had opened up partially. As mentioned in an earlier post, I had been trying to eat through the pain in preparation for upcoming weight loss. With medication, it was going well - I was eating almost like normal. Apparently, I was a little too ambitious.

That brings me to my decision. I have decided to go with surgery, and it has been scheduled for Tuesday, June 10th at 7:30am. It is expected to last for 10-12 hours. I was almost 100% sure that I wanted to go with surgery anyway, but this latest development seems to lend it even more support. I want this out of my body completely, and I believe the chances of that are increased with surgery. Also, while the surgery will be very hard, it will be over faster. As for my singing and speech, it could be affected with either treatment plan. Therefore, I'm going with the treatment plan that gives me a better chance for life.

With that said, I ask that you continue to pray that my speech and singing will be preserved. I have asked God for this, and I believe He will grant it to me. But, if He chooses otherwise, I trust that His plan is flawless.

Also, please pray for relief from the pain. Unfortunately, the surgery could not be moved up, and it doesn't make a lot of sense to close the wound at this point. Eating and talking are no longer mindless tasks. So, I hope you'll understand if you've made an unreturned phone call.

This is where faith has to get real. I can say God is bigger than cancer all day long, but that's just a powerless statement if I fail to trust Him when the pain is overwhelming. I must admit, this is hard, and I am weak. But, He is strong and able. Pray that I'll use His promises to shield me.